We’re here. Get used to it.

There has been a marked lack of activity on this blog the last few weeks and there’s been a good reason for it. Shortly, the “real” MumbaiBoss will go live and replace this blog which will be folded into one of the blogs on the site.

I hope you will come to enjoy MumbaiBoss.com and make it an important part of your daily procrastination routine at the office. There will be blogs, features, listings and hopefully some of it will be funny. Possibly all of it will be entertaining. So bookmark the URL Mumbaiboss.com.

It arrives soon.

1. The fabulous, worn, romantic art deco wood panelling.

2. The wonderfully named “dress-circle”.

3. The popcorn costs Rs 30. And has that faint masala-y old school taste that is entirely missing from the bland buttered popcorn at multiplexes.

4. It only has one screen, one entrance and one exit.

5. The ticket counter still operates with a booklet of coupons and a paper seating chart.

6. For signs like “Child in Arm Full Ticket” (see pic above).

7. If you peek into the basement behind the ticket counter you can see a vintage car apparently belonging to Regal owners, the Sidhwa family.

Courtesy of Zubin Pastakia.

Mmmm. Are we beginning to see how 10 terrorists could have taken an entire city hostage?

Nishtha Jain is a brilliant Mumbai-based documentary filmmaker whose last film Lakshmi & Me explored with great poignancy the life of her maid Lakshmi (see trailer above). Sadly, as is the case with most documentaries, it was shown only a couple of times before it disappeared entirely though you might be able to order a DVD by contacting Jain directly through the website. Her latest work, At My Doorstep, follows a similar theme, this time looking at the assortment of migrant labourers, watchmen, garbage collectors, delivery boys, etc who come to the doorstep of the filmmaker’s suburban housing colony. Jain has a deft hand, able to narrate with subtle emotion the lives of her often downtrodden subjects – her last few documentaries have all shown to great critical acclaim so you can expect equally thought provoking subject matter. At My Doorstep premieres on Thursday, 17 December, 6.30pm at Alliance Francaise, 40 Theosophy Hall, Marine Lines.

A still from 'At My Doorstep'

Many will remember this You Tube video of two men being reunited with their pet lion a year after releasing him into the African wild. As it turns out the clip , shot in 1971, spawned a book and a documentary, which will air in India this Sunday, December 13 at 8pm on the Animal Planet. Christian was bought from Harrods by two men John Rendall and Ace Bourke who brought him up in their Chelsea flat above their furniture store.  Good natured ( as far as pet lions go), Christian was toilet trained, and gentle with children. Eventually the men took him to Kenya, where with the help of an animal expert, they retrained him to live with his fellow lions. The documentary helps fill in the blanks, providing the back story and a follow-up to what happened with Christian. No sad endings here, though (spoiler alert) Christian eventually moved on to better hunting grounds and was never spotted again.

For those who couldn’t be bothered to tune in, most of the documentary is available in parts on You Tube, and in clips here.

What do I know? I only own .84%

The natives, of course, being the rest of us Indians. This op-ed in today’s weekend edition of Mint makes a case for why Parsis are the only “civilized” Indians and why we should only buy Tata products (because the majority of Tata Sons’ holdings are owned by a charitable trust; incidentally Ratan Tata owns only .84% of shares). The Ambanis and the Birlas the author Aakar Patel argues, contribute only to the rich. Their schools, hospitals and temples are for the wealthy, people who can afford Rs 1lakh school fees, and Rs 5000 check-up costs. But of course Patel uses the Tatas as the sole shining example of Parsi magnanimity, and neglects to talk about Azim Premji, Narayan Murthy, or any number of wealthy Indian families that do in fact contribute to the greater good of our country.

No one disputes that the Parsis are, in fact, great if not India’s greatest philanthropists. BUT, it would take phenomenal gall (and poor research skills) to brand them India’s only philanthropists.

But wait. Haven’t we heard this somewhere before? Perhaps in THIS article (which many will remember as a smug forward that was doing the email rounds last year) written by the same author about a year ago, extolling the very same Parsi virtues while bashing the rude, uncultured natives who, gasp, clap between movements of a Mendelssohn concert.

Mr Patel is in danger of sounding if not becoming an obsessive teen girl fan who faints at the very sight of her idol. The difference is that most young girls grow out of silly, fanatical crushes. Mr Patel is clearly way past that happening.

We don't want you either.

Quite a few local papers have run this New York Times article about Indians who return to the motherland only to discover it’s not all mangoes and sunshine; slum kids don’t all look like Dev Patel and Freida Pinto; and “finding yourself” here is an urban legend once propagated by the Beatles and really only used by tour operators to lure unsuspecting hippies (you know who you are) to Goa. But we digress.

Essentially the main gripe is working in India is a bitch, unprofessional and inefficient. A study reveals that more people returning to India find it difficult to adjust than the other way around (ie Indians moving to the US). “The repats complained about traffic, lack of infrastructure, bureaucracy and pollution.”

Erm, for this they commissioned a study? All they had to do was come here and ask.

The article goes on to quote a sundry of NRIs long-departed and thus in no danger of being booted out of India. The best bit? This quote by former Mint Managing Editor Raju Narisetti who says: ““Some very simple practices that you often take for granted, such as being ethical in day to day situations, or believing in the rule of law in everyday behavior, are surprisingly absent in many situations.”

Ethical day-to-day situations? Rule of the law? I think he’s mistaking us for Switzerland.